Why do I feel guilty?

I have a book that is titled, "Why Do I Feel Guilty Saying No?" But I need one that says, "Why Do I Feel Guilty Using the A/C?" Yesterday we had the a/c on almost all day. Usually we just try to use it at night to sleep with. But you don't get to enjoy it when you are sleeping. Steve doesn't have a problem with using it all day, but I do. I want to save money or electricity or something. But I am dying of the heat.

One of my new excuses to help me not feel bad about not doing a lot these days is to sit in my room and memorize scripture in Hindi. I am trying to learn the wise man who built his house on the rock. So far I have one verse memorized.

Two days ago I went to a brothel for the first time. I went with a friend to pick up a prostitute to take her to a home for girls. She has a daughter who she would like to send away for school for protection. Growing up in a brothel is not ideal for any kid, but for a daughter it is even more dangerous. So I drove around for about three hours, to the brothel, to the school, back to the brothel area and home.

I learned something while I was in the brothel. When one of the prostitute ladies was on the balcony and I decided to go be friendly and talk to her, I learned that being on the balcony is how she calls customers. I went out and asked her what she was doing. I said, "Are you just out watching people?" Stupid me. She finally had to tell me that she was calling for men to make them look up. I said something like, "Oh, so maybe I should go back inside." Duh!

I don't know how any guy would want to be with these ladies. They are not attractive and the room they are in is dingy. The one we took to the school is six months pregnant. She was complaining that her lower stomach is sore from the men being heavy. These ladies are probably 35 years old, but seem much older to me. What a sad life they have had. One was telling us that two prostitutes were killed the other night. Gas was poured on them and then they were burned. I'm sure they are all nervous that something like that could happen to them too. And they don't make much money at all. The house they live in (the brothel) is very simple and has paint chipping off the walls. No mattresses on the beds, just wood. They cook on a small burner in the room. I just don't understand their lives. And how do we help them to have a better life?

P.S. I left the song "Hot Town" on because I think it is appropriate for this posting too.

Comments

Wow! That must have been impactful to see what awful conditions other people experience on a daily basis. Thanks for sharing it... I am daily grateful for where we're living right now but stories like that hit straight to the heart reminding me how extremely good I have it.
As I'm prone to guilt, this is my moto, "Guilt is from Satan and results in no good. Conviction is from God and results in action." Then whatever I feel guilty about I give to God and don't worry about anymore. It's worked pretty well over the years. Maybe God wants you to enjoy his gift of the ac,like you hope Micah will enjoy his ice cream when you give it to him. Your logic for going out makes perfect sense, I think I'll use it tonight ;).
Mark Chmarny said…
Interesting. It makes you feel so sad for these ladies. Thanks for participating in their lives. I truly hope they see your light, and gravitate toward it. Carey

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