The other day I was working in the girls home I work at. I was cleaning so I was in a t-shirt working away hard. One of the staff ladies, who is a friend of mine commented, "Leslie, you are looking healthy." I was proud. Yes, I have been working out a bit although not a lot. But I felt good about myself. But then she said, "You haven't been working out have you." And then it clicked. In India, saying you are healthy is a nice way of saying you are fat. So my good thoughts quickly went to dread. She helped explain it by saying, "Your back side is bigger." I just have to laugh.
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Monday, December 9, 2013
I Looked Good
A few weeks ago I was getting ready for work and really felt good about myself. I was wearing my sister's clothes, so they were nicer then what I buy for myself. I was all ready to go, feeling confident. But then I stepped out of the house at the wrong time. The neighbor lady was coming down the stairs and she was two steps in front of me. She looked good! Her hair was perfect, her clothes were quality, and everything went together (whereas my shoes were tennis shoes and didn't go with my nice outfit). I immediately felt bad about myself (my looks that is). The negative talk started in my head.
A couple of days later the same thing happened again. I felt pretty good, again wearing Kim's clothes and stepped out only to see neighbor lady at the bottom of the steps, being her pretty self.
Today I came to work feeling okay about my appearance, not great but not bad. But then at the start of the team meeting someone said, "You look tired." Geesh. I had to talk myself out of a negative mood again. I admitted to myself that yes, I am tired. I'm not wearing a good color. I don't have any make-up on. So it is probably true that I look tired and just not as good as I could look, BUT it is okay.
Why do I get so caught up in looking good? Who do I want to impress? I could compare myself to others and find a lot of people aren't looking their best every day. Or I could just accept myself for who I am. I am cheap, so my clothes are not as nice as others who spend lots of money. I have dark circles under my eyes, but that is normal for me. I like comfort over fashion, so I don't look like a super model. And inside I am a loving person, who is also loved by many.
A couple of days later the same thing happened again. I felt pretty good, again wearing Kim's clothes and stepped out only to see neighbor lady at the bottom of the steps, being her pretty self.
Today I came to work feeling okay about my appearance, not great but not bad. But then at the start of the team meeting someone said, "You look tired." Geesh. I had to talk myself out of a negative mood again. I admitted to myself that yes, I am tired. I'm not wearing a good color. I don't have any make-up on. So it is probably true that I look tired and just not as good as I could look, BUT it is okay.
Why do I get so caught up in looking good? Who do I want to impress? I could compare myself to others and find a lot of people aren't looking their best every day. Or I could just accept myself for who I am. I am cheap, so my clothes are not as nice as others who spend lots of money. I have dark circles under my eyes, but that is normal for me. I like comfort over fashion, so I don't look like a super model. And inside I am a loving person, who is also loved by many.
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