Good Intentions

Today during the devotion time at work we looked at the story of when the Ark of God was being brought back to Israel.  1 Chron. 13.  And if you remember, the bulls stumbled and a man put his hand out to steady the Ark and God got angry and killed him.  We looked back at the instructions that God gave regarding the handling of the Ark and saw that God specifically stated that if someone touched the Ark they would be killed.  Even if they looked at it they would die.  So really, it shouldn't be too surprising that this happened, just as God warned.  But in our minds we see it as such a small act.  And act done with completely good intentions.

I started to think about the whole gay marriage thing going on in America right now.  There are many Christians who strongly feel that gays should be allowed to get married.  They feel that God wants us to love and accept all people (I feel that way too) and by not allowing them to get married we are judging them.  Good intentions.  But if we look at God's instructions we would read that He is clearly against gay relationships.  He loves and accepts all people.  He gives instructions for our well being or because He is Holy.

It is easy to point fingers at areas in life that I already follow but others don't.  However, today I am thinking about myself and the areas of my life that don't follow God's instructions.  Do I keep the Sabbath?  I don't keep it according to the Law.  But I do know that God gave us that law for our good and for his holiness.  He wants us to rest.  He also wants us to keep it holy.  I'm not use to really focusing on the sabbath and what I should do on that day, but I want to follow all that God wants me to do, so I should at least look into it and see what it God has to say about it.  Even though we are not under the Jewish Law, I believe it was given to help us live lives pleasing to God and for our benefit. 

Day 3 - P90X Pain90Xtreme

I can't sit down without my rear end paining.  I can't stand up without my legs hurting.  I can't lay down because my stomach is aching.  Yes, I have made it again to Day 3 of P90X.  Since this is my second time, or maybe third, of doing the P90X routine I shouldn't be surprised.  But I am only doing half of the workouts so I thought it wouldn't be as bad.  I was wrong.  Stairs are the worst and I have three flights to get to the office and a flight at home.

And the worst part about Day 3 of P90X is that I don't see any results yet.  I just walk like an old lady which makes me feel like I am really out of shape.  Good ego boost.  I know I can do it because I've done it before.  But I also remember the first week and how I had to crawl up stairs.  And I am two or three years older now, so maybe it will take longer to get over the pain and longer to see the gain.    Oh well.  It gives me something besides the weather to complain about.  Bring It!

The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog

I just finished reading this book, The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog, and loved it.  I found it quite fascinating and informative.  So I thought I would write a quick book report for those of you who don't want to buy a book but are interested in how trauma affects young children and the hope for recovery.

This book has true stories that the write and psychiatrist has dealt with.  It is a study about children who have experienced severe trauma in their lives, in the form of neglect or abuse, and the brain development.  Several cases are of babies who are neglected by their parents or care givers.  Either children in orphanages or by parents who didn't realize it was abusive. 

There was a couple babies who were left all alone when they were babies over and over again.  Because of this trauma or neglect in their life, their brains didn't get to develop the part that learns attachment.  So these kids grew up without being able to form attachments with others.  One boy continued to not be helped through the system that is meant to help him, special education classes with other troubled kids.  When he was a teenager he ended up killing two girls.  And he never felt it was his fault.  He wasn't able to have empathy.  He became a sociopath.

Other children who were also raised with severe neglect turned out much better.  One interesting thing that helped them was to be treated as their emotion age when the neglect happened.  For instance, if the child was a baby when they were neglected, they need to be held and rocked.  He also suggested massage for therapy and a rhythm class.  The child should progress quickly in their emotional age and hopefully reach their actual age.

One other cool story was about a girl who was neglected as an infant who went on to lead a good life.  She had a daughter that she took good care of, but the daughter wasn't thriving.  After 3 years of medical attention that didn't seem to help, the psychiatrist was able to give his advice.  What the mother didn't know/learn was how to nurture.  She didn't have the natural instincts to rock and hold her baby and comfort her in that way.  So the baby girl was like a runt of a litter who didn't take in nutrients even if she was fed them.  So the psychiatrist asked a foster mother to take the mother and daughter in for a time.  This foster mother was able to model nurturing to the mother.  The first month with this lady the girl gained 10 pounds. 

As I think about these examples I want to go to orphanages and hold babies.  I now see the importance in just holding a baby.  They need consistent, meaning the same caregiver, in their lives, which I can't do.  But I do hope that people will step in and help.  It also makes me think about some of the girls at our home and what they might have missed out on in their lives.  I am more aware and hopefully able to detect if they need more nurturing.

Okra and Carrots

I cooked last night!

I wanted to use some of the wonderful Tillamook Cheese that friends brought us, so I made noodles and cheese sauce.  But I also thought that maybe it would be good to have some vegetables.  Thankfully we had some in the fridge that were for the rabbits we were watching but were no longer at our house.  We had carrots and okra.  The rabbits didn't like the okra.  I like okra.  I decided to try to stir fry it up like our friend Hiroko does.  Here is what happened.

I cut up the carrots and okra into nice pieces.

Then I heated up the skillet with olive oil and dumped in the vegetables.  I stirred them around.

I have this great sauce I bought in Thailand, but I don't know exactly what it is.  I added that.

Some friends were staying with us a few weeks ago and left some parmesan cheese sprinkles that are pretty good, so I added that too.

Ate it up!  And it was quite tasty too.

Pizza Delivery

Two days ago we ordered pizza for dinner.  It is probably a weekly occurrence.  I like to order online so I don't have to chance getting a person who can't understand me on the phone.

Steve answered the door when the pizza arrived.  The pizza man pointed to a lady laying on the ground at the base of the stairs outside our apartment.  She had fallen.  Steve said to me, "Someone has fallen!"  My first thought was that someone fell down the air shaft or the empty elevator shaft.  But as I walked out I saw the lady, face down, with her feet still on the stairs.  She wasn't moving and we didn't know how long she had been there.

The neighbors also came to their door since the pizza man rang their bell first.  So we all rushed out to check on this lady.  The poor pizza man was shocked also.  He didn't know what to do with the pizzas in his arms.  No one was offering to take them and hand him the money because we were too busy trying to help this lady.    I got water that the neighbor sprinkled on her face trying to revive her.  Steve said, "I don't think she is breathing."  So I came rushing to see if I would finally get to use my CPR training.  I got a 100% on the first aid training test two years ago and was anxious to use it.  But I took her pulse and found that she was alive (thankfully).  She started to make small movements in her face so I figured she was breathing.  It was decided to move her to the couch.  I know you shouldn't move a person until they are evaluated for neck or back injuries, but I wasn't in charge of her care, so she was moved.  Steve carried her in since he is so strong.

As the lady laid on our couch, the neighbor went up to find her husband.  We continued to put a cold cloth on her forehead and try to rouse her.  The husband and a brother in-law came in and sat her up and patted her hand and cheek.  Her head flopped back on the couch.  Steve offered to drive her to a hospital but the husband said he would do it.  We encouraged him to let her lay for a while before taking her home.  But probably it was less then 10 minutes before he flopped her over his shoulder like a bag of potatoes and carried her upstairs.

I don't know if they took her to the hospital or not.  We prayed for Aesha and prayed for wisdom.  I plan to go up and ask how she is doing today so that I can sleep at night.  Otherwise I just lie in bed wondering what happened to her and if we did the right thing.  And now every time I open the door, I look on the ground where she was laying and picture her there.  I try not to look out the peephole every time I hear what could be someone falling.  And I am thankful we ordered pizza so we could find her and help her there.

Revictimization

As I hear the stories of different girls that have been abused, I am shocked that so many try to get away only to find themselves in a new abusive situation.  This is called Revictimization.  I didn't know that it is common with victims of sexual abuse.  It is almost as if a victim has a sign on them that says "abuse me" and they can't get it off.  One of our goals is to help our girls be safe from being retrafficked or reabused.

Not all victims are vulnerable.  Some become distrusting of everyone.  But one report stated that two-thirds of victims of incest experience rape later in their lives.  TWO -THIRDS!  This brings tears to my eyes.  These poor children who are abused by a family member, a person who should be showing them love, is then victimized again. 

I did a very short study on why this happens by looking it up on the internet.  Some of the reasons make sense.  Sadly, one effect of trauma is that a person will have an inaccurate sense of danger. There is an emotional desire to trust someone and they will easily let themselves trust.   They don't recognize the signs that may be obvious to others.  Another reason is that the victim's understanding of what love is is obscured.  They understand love comes along with pain.  And victims have a sense of helplessness that puts them in vulnerable situations when they can't stand-up against unwanted sexual advancements.  And then a low self-image may lead to risky behavior or substance abuse.

The two main contributing factors to a person being revictimized is PTSD and self-blame.  These must be our focus areas for helping a girl to not be hurt again.

Taco Potluck

I was just sitting here thinking (I wonder how many of my posts start with that sentence) about tacos and potlucks.  Then as my mind kept thinking, I came up with the taco potluck idea.  It is a great twist on the old favorite, potlucks.

The church (since churches are the only ones I know who have potlucks) can provide the venue for this event.  Maybe on May the 5th.  You could have an online list that people can sign up with if they want to, to make sure you have the basics covered. 

Tortilla chips
guacamole
sour cream
beans
cheese
onions
tomatoes
meat
lettuce
scrambled eggs
sausage
tortilla shells
salsa
rice
surprise me

Then you just invite everyone to come.  Simple, dimple.  Go ahead and try it.

Mini Owl Pillow

I made a Pintrest page last week so that I could keep track of the craft ideas I have to do with Micah.  One of the great ideas I found (on a friend's page) was these adorable little owls.
http://pinterest.com/pin/384846730628150324/

So Micah and I set out to make them.  I had Micah draw the pattern since he is good with drawing things.  Then I found an old kurta (shirt) to cut up.  I got some white and black felt and pulled at the sewing machine.  We were set.  It didn't take long and Micah did a great job of stitching on the black of the eyes by himself.

Stupid People

I read a lot of news articles on trafficking and rape from around the world.  Today I was reading one about a girl here in Delhi who ran away from home because she was being raped by her father.  She ran away with the help of a neighbor boy who is around 17.  What makes me mad, and I think is stupid, are the comments people make about the article.  I don't know why I read them because they are always filled with idiots making comments.  But many of the comments say that the girl was probably running off with the boy and having sex with him and that she should be punished.

WHAT?????

So many people assume that the girl is guilty and that she is lying, without knowing anything about her.  This is what is wrong with this country.  People are quick to blame the girl.  They assume the girl has done something wrong.