Funny Questions I Get Asked

When I use to run the ladies only gym I was asked a lot of medical questions, as if I had some sort of medical training.  I would usually give them a serious look and answer the most logically that I could.  Then I would look up their questions online and answer them again the next time I saw them.  But some questions just baffled me.

One lady was a newly married lady and she called me one day to ask a serious question.  It seemed her husband was unable to have children so they had a plan for her to get pregnant by another guy, a friend.  But they needed a place for this to take place.  So she was asking if they could rent a room for a day in my house.  I tried to explain that there were much better ways to go about trying to get pregnant and if they would go to a doctor then he could give them some advice.  But she said her husband was too embarrassed and they didn't want his family to find out that he had a problem.  So this was their solution.  I of course said "no" to their request.

Yesterday another friend called.  She asked if I knew of anybody who would want to be a surrogate mother for a friend of hers.  Not sure why my name came to mind when she was trying to figure out who might know of someone, but it did.  She said they were willing to pay money to the lady.  I didn't want to get into how they planned to do this, if it was with a doctor or not.  I just told her I really didn't know anyone.

As I was thinking about the whole surrogate mother thing today I decided to look up information about it here in India.  It is actually big business.  People from all over the world come to have a surrogate mother carry their baby.  Ladies who are quite poor have found that it is a good way to make money.  To me, the logic doesn't make sense.  Why would you want a poor, malnourished lady to carry your baby?  I would be worried that the baby would have some deficiencies or something.  I saw a picture of one of the babies that was born and it was quite tiny.  And one of the ladies said that she is only doing it because she is so poor and it is the only way to make money.  Isn't it in a way exploiting them and their situation?  They make $5,000. and the doctor makes $25,000.  Something just doesn't seem right to me.

How I Overcame Fear

I have anxiety issues.  It usually pokes it's head out when we are in the car.  I HATE Delhi traffic.  All the cars seem really close and it feels to me like we are going to just smash into the car next to us.  Sometimes we do.

This past week we went up to the mountain for some camping.  The road to get to the camp ground is windy and thin.  As you round a corner you must be sure you stay on your side of the road and really pay attention that the car/truck coming at you is also on their side of the road.  But if you want to go fast, you don't stay on your side of the road, you just go.  And there are no passing lanes.  If you want to pass (and you do want to pass every car that is ahead of you) you just do it, even if you can't see if there is a car coming.  The car you are passing is suppose to some how signal you that a car is coming.  Either the driver turns his blinker on or he puts his hand out the window.  This could also mean that it is safe to pass though, so you have to make sure you know what the driver of the other car is thinking.

The last time we made this trip up the mountain I swore I would never do it again.  But Micah's birthday happened to be during the school camping trip, so I went along.  We took a taxi up the mountain.  I tried a new strategy to deal with the fear and anxiety and it worked.

My new strategy is that I tell myself that I am going to die.  Most likely it will be a quick death.  Either a truck will ram into my side or we will roll of the edge of the mountain.  Therefore, I shouldn't be afraid.  You see, I'm not afraid of death.  And it worked!  That and having my eyes closed the whole way.

I decided to try my new trick again in another fearful situation.  I went rappelling.  I had to climb up a very challenging side of a rock ledge and get to the rappelling rope.  I went up pretty confidently, but when I got up to the top I realized it is actually pretty scary.  So I told myself, "I am most likely going to die so I should at least enjoy it without fear."  And again, it worked.  I had no problem stepping over the edge of the rock and rappelling down.  Who knows what else I will try.  Maybe bungee jumping.

Facebook Faults

My newly teen son (actually he will be a teen in two days) has Facebook.  I didn't really think through the whole Facebook thing before I allowed him to sign up.  But now I realize I have to be even more vigilant/diligent to make sure it is a safe place for him.

One issue that just recently came up is the issue of pictures that may not be great for him to look at.  I have noticed some young ladies posting their pictures of themselves in small bikinis.  I don't really want it to be something that could cause temptation to my son or other young men.  So what to do?

Facebook is kind of like giving a photo album of yourself to all your friends.  What do you want them to see?  Your goofy pictures?  Your attractive pictures?  Your sexy pictures?  Not that last one for sure.  But what one person things is okay to show to everyone another person may not.  So here are 4 reason I found why you should not post your bikini pictures (or speedo) online.

1)   Because EVERYONE that you are friends with (and more, depending on privacy settings) can see these pictures.
Do you really want your teacher to stare at you in your bikini?

2) Because the good guys (i.e. – the guys you want to date) will choose to “hide” those pictures from their newsfeeds anyway

3)   Because you’d never post a picture of yourself in your bra and underwear on Facebook

4)   Because your beauty is more than your body

It’s a cheap way to get attention, and let’s face it: it’s beneath you.  You’re beautiful, and you don’t have to post a half-naked picture of yourself on Facebook to prove it.


A follow up article had comments from guys about what they say regarding #2.  If you are interested you can read it here

I can use this as a teaching lesson for my son.  I can talk about what he should do when a friend posts a picture of themselves in their bikini or showing too much skin.  But because he is a kid and doesn't need to be given a matchbook and told not to light them, I will also block his friends if they post pictures that I don't want him to see. 

Hospital Stay

We had a very short stay in the hospital when Steve had his low platelets.  I think around 4 hours in one and one hour in the second hospital.  The first hospital had lots of people in it.  It was very busy.  I suspect there were mostly Dengue cases, but there was also a fractured leg that came in and a guy with his stomach so bloated that his belly button was sticking out.  I thought he might pop.

Steve didn't like being in the hospital.  The bed was very uncomfortable and they hooked him up to an IV, which made him have to go to the toilet more then normal, which is already about every 30 minutes.  That means I had to find a nurse to come unhook him and then when he came back I had to find one to hook him back up.  There wasn't a chair for me to sit on and if I sat on the bed he said it was going to fall, so I had to stand.  I stood next to the garbage cans so each time the nurse brought some dirty gauze, I had to step aside to let them toss it in the garbage.

Steve got hungry while he laid there so I went to the Subway in the hospital, which happens to be the slowest Subway restaurant I have been to.  There was only one sandwich being made before me but it took FOREVER.

After a few hours, Steve got tired of laying in bed, so he got up.  I was tired, so I laid in the bed for a bit. 

I'm so glad he didn't have to stay in the hospital because, selfishly, I would have been exhausted taking care of him.

I'm Weak

Why is it so hard to admit that I am weak?  For some reason I like to try to carry a heavy load without help.  Or maybe I don't "like" it but I am too proud to ask for help.  And I hate accepting help.  I always feel like I am bothering people and I don't like that.  But really, if I let myself think about it, I am actually being selfish.  People want to help.  It makes them feel good too.  And if I don't let people help me it is taking away from their pleasure.

I came close to tears twice in the last couple of days.  One time was when I was calling to order dinner and the place didn't answer.  I just couldn't think of what else to eat and I felt the knot in my throat grow that tries to block the tears from coming to my eyes.  The other time was when Steve's platelet count was low and there were no beds and he didn't want to stay in the ER.  I just couldn't make a decision.  I knew it was best for him to be at the hospital if his platelets were going down, but he certainly wasn't going to get any rest.  The first time was just silly.  I realized I was stressed out.  The second time was more serious and I am thankful for friend who I can call.  That is me finally letting them help carry the load.

For whatever reason, I put on a face of "I'm not worried."  But one thing I realized while Steve has been sick and I have been at a higher level of stress is that I make more jokes when I am stressed.  I guess it is a way of coping for me.  That and drinking.  Drinking Dr. Pepper.

Now let me tell the whole world that I am just as weak as the other weaklings out there.  It is all a facade.  Underneath the outer shell I am as soft as an uncooked egg.  So don't let me trick you.  When you ask how I am and I make a joke, it means I'm not doing too well.  Since you know that now, you can understand what I really mean and go get me a Dr. Pepper.

An Epiphany

An epiphany is an experience of sudden or striking realization.  And I just had one.  My epiphany was about slavery.  I was reading an article on sex trafficking in America.  It was talking about Backpage.com that advertises girls for sex.  Here is the article http://www.fairobserver.com/article/sex-trafficking-america-role-online-advertisers.

My epiphany was a picture of slavery.  Can you imagine a website selling black people as slaves?  That is what the modern version of slavery would be like.  There were actual markets that people were sold at.  Now it would be on Ebay or maybe even we could buy a person on Amazon and have them delivered to us.  We could bid on several at a time and watch the price go up.  Or maybe we could sell someone.  Think of what your description of that person would be like.  If you have marketing skills you could probably make them sound very appealing.  Maybe show a picture of how strong the person was or what a hard worker they were.  Or maybe you could sell your really pretty slave's daughter online.  You could get rich.             It really is a disturbing thought.

That is exactly what Backpage and other online advertisers are doing.  And it should be disturbing to all of us. 

33% of the 800,000 children trafficked each year are black.   http://www.zimbio.com/Humaning+Trafficking+Awareness/articles/Z3xim9cuDoU/Stealing+Little+Black+Girls