Why Did I Have To Go Through That?
Today in our staff devotion time we were looking at a passage about the wondering in the wilderness for 40 years. And someone brought up the idea of the training we go through. It made me think of an event in my life that I haven't shared with people. I think because of this event, I am able to understand a small, little bit of some of the things the girls in our home have gone through. So even though i don't look at it with thankfulness, I can look at it as a situation that God redeemed.
I had a boyfriend when I was 15 years old. He was controlling and abusive. Not anything like what the girls in our home have gone through, but in a way I can relate. One day this boyfriend got angry. He was angry at me for wanting to break-up with him. He was angry at himself. He was talking about killing himself. He had to drive me home from his house since I wasn't able to drive yet. As we drove, he was mad. He pressed the gas all the way down and drove towards the sharp turn in the road. As I sat in the passenger seat I remember thinking, "This is it. I'm going to die." I didn't say anything. I felt helpless. At the last moment he slammed on the brakes and we skid around the turn.
As I look back at this incident and remember what I felt, I think about the girls. What they go through is 100 times worse. But because of this incident I am able to sympathize with them. I understand that they felt helpless. They couldn't speak out. They were in a situation that they had no control over. They feared for their lives. And now I know why God allowed me to go through what I went through. God can use it for His glory. And He can use me. I know He was with me as I went through what I went through, and I know He is with these girls during their hardest moments.
I had a boyfriend when I was 15 years old. He was controlling and abusive. Not anything like what the girls in our home have gone through, but in a way I can relate. One day this boyfriend got angry. He was angry at me for wanting to break-up with him. He was angry at himself. He was talking about killing himself. He had to drive me home from his house since I wasn't able to drive yet. As we drove, he was mad. He pressed the gas all the way down and drove towards the sharp turn in the road. As I sat in the passenger seat I remember thinking, "This is it. I'm going to die." I didn't say anything. I felt helpless. At the last moment he slammed on the brakes and we skid around the turn.
As I look back at this incident and remember what I felt, I think about the girls. What they go through is 100 times worse. But because of this incident I am able to sympathize with them. I understand that they felt helpless. They couldn't speak out. They were in a situation that they had no control over. They feared for their lives. And now I know why God allowed me to go through what I went through. God can use it for His glory. And He can use me. I know He was with me as I went through what I went through, and I know He is with these girls during their hardest moments.
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