Last night we watched the movie "Faith Like Potatoes". In the movie, a lady dies and God brought her back from the dead. Also in the movie a little boy dies. He is not brought back to life. I imagine that the death of a child is the WORST pain someone can go through. My friend, Christy, had a child that died. To watch her go through that pain was so sad. But she has done amazingly through it. The growth in her life, her faith, her whole attitude, was amazing.
I was reminded today of a death in my life. Nothing like having a child die, but still painful. I have not done well with it either. Two years before our gym was closed, it died in my heart. Because of some very hurtful things that people did and said, it killed my dreams. I know that the people didn't intend to have this effect on my life, so I don't hold anything against them. But I haven't figured out how to come back from the dead.
I realized that the hurt didn't just cause my dream to die, but it killed something else inside of me. I use to think that I could do anything I set my mind to do. Now I have no self-confidence. I doubt that I can do anything great at all. And I feel like my desires have all died.
Sounds like I need to go see that counselor again, doesn't it? Well don't worry, I will set up an appointment today. I guess if I were to look for a bright side in this post, it is that I have something to work on in my life to become whole again. Oh boy!
2 comments:
And some amazing insight.
Have you read the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I have felt like you many times, not neccessarily because of things people have said but just in reflecting on my own inadequacies and continual failures, not to mention my lack of time for anything BIG for the kingdom. Anyway, he talks about life as a movie about God, he's the main character, it's all about him. We, luckily, get to be extras in the movie!! Hurray! But we are so insignificant in the big picture, just a flash, and, as someone pointed out to me recently, if the camera were to stop on me, may I be found with my focus on Him. That thought made so much sense. I have the book if you want to borrow it.
Also, thank you for your comments. It will be 11 years next week. Hard to believe.
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