Jealousy

I have had a hard time with jealousy lately. I mean, serious hard time. Yesterday I was even brought to tears by my jealousy. I tried to think of God and how he is a jealous God, but I couldn't quite bring my situation to a spiritual lesson.

You see, the thing I am jealous about is my son. Or maybe I should say, I am jealous for him. So maybe I could look at God's son and see how God was jealous of us not giving Jesus the respect that he deserved. Or even how (like the song says) God is jealous for me. Yeah, I like that. God is jealous for me the way I am jealous for my child. And I want everyone else to love my son like I do.

Micah is awesome! You should have seen his sweet face on the rides at Disneyland this week. He enjoyed it so much. I love it. He would get off Magic Mountain and say, "That was awesome!" It was all so much fun for him. His second favorite ride was Toad's Wild Ride. It is really a simple, no-nonsense ride, but he loved it. I wonder which face of mine that God enjoys? Could it be when I stop to smell the roses and smile.

Being here in California has been a bit rough at times for me. We have a new nephew (whom we all love). He is a year and a half. Well he is the center of the universe that use to be where Micah was. It hurts me to see all the attention on the little guy and for my dear, sweet son to be not so special. I know the family all loves Micah and yada yada yada, but come on, show him some special attention. Comments are made about how special the new guy is and I feel my momma's heart wanting to take my child away from it all. To shelter him from it.

I hope Micah knows how special he is to God. I know he knows that he is special to us, but more than that, I want Micah to know how insanely in love with him God is. To know that God is jealous for him. If Micah ever turns away from God that it will break His heart. When Micah chooses something else as more important than God, that it crushes Him.

And I want to know that God loves me like that too!

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