I hate to admit it, but I think about death a lot more than I tell my counselors about. When you fill out the form that asks, "Do you think about dying?" I try to give them the answer I think they would like to hear. But the truth is, I think about dying a lot. Go ahead and send the men in white jackets to my house. Even in a padded room, I would think about death.
I read the other day, a recommendation to think about your own death. I think it was to make us realize that our life is a blink and we really don't matter that much in the greater scheme of things. Not a very encouraging thought. But imagine you, lying in the coffin. For one day a handful of people come to visit you there and then they are gone. They go back to their lives without much thought of you not being there. All your things are soon given away (or thrown away), even your money will be spent. Family will remember you but the rest of the world forgets soon.
But death is just a moment. Then there is the afterlife. That is what I want to focus on. Death is dramatic. And when people are all filing by to say good-bye, you will already be on the other side.
I like to think about heaven. I don't like to think about hell. I imagine there will be colors that I have never seen before. I imagine being held in Jesus' arms. I will see my Grandmas there again. And I really want to ask Jesus some questions. Like, "What did you write in the dirt when the men were accusing the woman of adultery?" I wonder if I will be able to fly. Or jump really high. Will I be overcome with emotion when I see Jesus? I am normally not a highly emotional person, so that could be weird for me. But I would love it.
I like to make people laugh. In my death I hope to leave people with a smile on their faces. So that is why, if you come to my funeral, you will have to walk by the open casket. I will have one final joke to share with you (if Steve doesn't stop it from happening that is). I want to be naked in the casket. I hope I am really old, but even if I'm not, that is how I want to go. And I hope they put a big smile on my face, with my teeth showing. I will already have my new body by then, Praise God.
So go ahead and send the men in white to take me away. I already know I'm crazy.
2 comments:
my mom used to say to make sure and look cuz "she was gonna wink at us". what else can you do about something so unknown, but laugh?! i get you on this leslie. my perspective of dying has changed so much over the past several years and i really think a lot of it has to do with who i believe God to be. for once, i yearn to "go home"!
I am laughing so hard I can't breath, or barely see from the tears streaming down my face. Somebody remind me to go to your funeral, even if I'm one hunderd years old!!!
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