Last week was my one year anniversary of working at BBB. I was excited for two reasons, I would get a raise and no longer get minimum wage and I would get my review. I knew the raise wasn't much since 20 cents is the average raise, but at least it would be more then minimum wage. And I was excited about the review because I like to hear how great I am. At different times I have been praised for doing well at the job so I was expecting high marks. I also was expecting some areas where I could improve and I wanted to hear these also so I could work on them.
The day started out great. I took my CLEP test for intro to psychology and did really well. I was feeling very good about myself and the accomplishment. The teacher who was taking care of the CLEP test people was shocked that I got done in just 30 minutes and then she said my score was high. I treated myself to a Dr. Pepper on the way home and it was only 9:30 in the morning.
It was the Day of Leslie! At work I got called into the office for my review. I was all smiles. So I got a copy of the review to go over with the manager. I looked over it quickly and my smile went away. Actually I had to keep a fake smile on my face and remain composed. But my real smile was gone.
The questions are rated: excellent, very good, good, needs improvement, and not good. I had all goods and 3 needs improvement. I agreed with the three needs improvements mostly. They are areas I can work on so that is fair. But I was really disappointed I didn't have a single "very good". I mean, I have been on time every day, never called out, I come in when they need help, so at least in the attendance I think I deserve a "very good". And what about all the praises I got for being the top bridal registry? I think that should be a "very good" rating.
The manager that was going over the review is not the one who reviewed me. The one who reviewed me was transferred to another store. So the guy with me was also saying that I should talk to the store manager about it because he also thought I should have higher ratings.
As I thought about it all during the rest of my shift I had to remind myself that the review isn't who I am. It isn't even accurate. It isn't like the reviewer watched me all the time and saw all the things I did. But then I started to think that maybe I was delusional. Maybe I'm not as great as I think I am.
I am usually the hardest critic on myself so it is a bummer when others see me as worse then I do. I may come across over confident but it is all an act. As I drove home I had to remind myself that it doesn't matter how others see me, because God sees me accurately. He loves me. My value doesn't come from others but from God. And he highly values me.
My response to the review is two ways. Sometimes I want to slack off if it just doesn't matter. And then other times I want to improve on the areas that they mentioned. But one thing that I know that I need to work on is how it effects me when I feel like people don't see me. Instead I need to focus on what my heavenly father sees. And that is the biggest lesson I can get from my review. So in the end, it was a good day.
The day started out great. I took my CLEP test for intro to psychology and did really well. I was feeling very good about myself and the accomplishment. The teacher who was taking care of the CLEP test people was shocked that I got done in just 30 minutes and then she said my score was high. I treated myself to a Dr. Pepper on the way home and it was only 9:30 in the morning.
It was the Day of Leslie! At work I got called into the office for my review. I was all smiles. So I got a copy of the review to go over with the manager. I looked over it quickly and my smile went away. Actually I had to keep a fake smile on my face and remain composed. But my real smile was gone.
The questions are rated: excellent, very good, good, needs improvement, and not good. I had all goods and 3 needs improvement. I agreed with the three needs improvements mostly. They are areas I can work on so that is fair. But I was really disappointed I didn't have a single "very good". I mean, I have been on time every day, never called out, I come in when they need help, so at least in the attendance I think I deserve a "very good". And what about all the praises I got for being the top bridal registry? I think that should be a "very good" rating.
The manager that was going over the review is not the one who reviewed me. The one who reviewed me was transferred to another store. So the guy with me was also saying that I should talk to the store manager about it because he also thought I should have higher ratings.
As I thought about it all during the rest of my shift I had to remind myself that the review isn't who I am. It isn't even accurate. It isn't like the reviewer watched me all the time and saw all the things I did. But then I started to think that maybe I was delusional. Maybe I'm not as great as I think I am.
I am usually the hardest critic on myself so it is a bummer when others see me as worse then I do. I may come across over confident but it is all an act. As I drove home I had to remind myself that it doesn't matter how others see me, because God sees me accurately. He loves me. My value doesn't come from others but from God. And he highly values me.
My response to the review is two ways. Sometimes I want to slack off if it just doesn't matter. And then other times I want to improve on the areas that they mentioned. But one thing that I know that I need to work on is how it effects me when I feel like people don't see me. Instead I need to focus on what my heavenly father sees. And that is the biggest lesson I can get from my review. So in the end, it was a good day.
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