This is our first Christmas in America many years. It has been weird. I can't believe how many presents people give and get. And people seem to have gotten crazy with the yard decorations. You can't say "Merry Christmas" without offending someone, and you can't not say "Merry Christmas" without offending someone else.
I found myself sad this morning as I was thinking about how different this year was for my family. We usually go to Christmas Eve service at our church and expect it to be a little odd at times. That's what you get in a third world country. The speaker system will do weird things or the electricity will blink on and off or the times we have to go through security checks to enter the service. And then we usually would go out to dinner somewhere with some friends. Finally we arrive home and move our mattresses out to the front room by the Christmas tree with the familiar ornaments and we watch Elf in our pajamas. It is usually pretty cold and we are all bundled up in our winter-wear.
This year we had a family Christmas Eve celebration, which was fun. We exchanged gifts and ate lots of food. We couldn't find the Elf movie. We still pulled our mattresses out to the front room and slept out there, although there was no tree.
One of the things that has made me sad is not having our nativity scene. Steve and I bought one on our honeymoon 20 years ago and it went to India with us. We didn't bring it back with us. I had thought that I packed it with our special ornaments and set it aside for Steve to bring back with him on his short trip a few weeks ago, but he couldn't find it. So we didn't have our special ornaments or the nativity scene. That made me sad.
Then I started to think of why we were no longer in India anymore and it just went downhill from there. I felt a bitterness build in my heart that I thought I had done pretty good at avoiding. After dwelling on the fact that I wouldn't receive the apology for all that I have gone through that I think I deserve, I was able again to say to Jesus, "You know what's best for me and you have a good plan for us." Christmas was just another reminder of what we have had to grieve over. Next year will be better. And it is time to plant my rosebush to represent the new life that we have started here. We will make new traditions and find ways to bring the old ones to America.
I found myself sad this morning as I was thinking about how different this year was for my family. We usually go to Christmas Eve service at our church and expect it to be a little odd at times. That's what you get in a third world country. The speaker system will do weird things or the electricity will blink on and off or the times we have to go through security checks to enter the service. And then we usually would go out to dinner somewhere with some friends. Finally we arrive home and move our mattresses out to the front room by the Christmas tree with the familiar ornaments and we watch Elf in our pajamas. It is usually pretty cold and we are all bundled up in our winter-wear.
This year we had a family Christmas Eve celebration, which was fun. We exchanged gifts and ate lots of food. We couldn't find the Elf movie. We still pulled our mattresses out to the front room and slept out there, although there was no tree.
One of the things that has made me sad is not having our nativity scene. Steve and I bought one on our honeymoon 20 years ago and it went to India with us. We didn't bring it back with us. I had thought that I packed it with our special ornaments and set it aside for Steve to bring back with him on his short trip a few weeks ago, but he couldn't find it. So we didn't have our special ornaments or the nativity scene. That made me sad.
Then I started to think of why we were no longer in India anymore and it just went downhill from there. I felt a bitterness build in my heart that I thought I had done pretty good at avoiding. After dwelling on the fact that I wouldn't receive the apology for all that I have gone through that I think I deserve, I was able again to say to Jesus, "You know what's best for me and you have a good plan for us." Christmas was just another reminder of what we have had to grieve over. Next year will be better. And it is time to plant my rosebush to represent the new life that we have started here. We will make new traditions and find ways to bring the old ones to America.
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